Watching our parents turn older or becoming ill is one of the hardest things we have to go through.
In your eyes you want to always see your parents, young, active and alert, unfortunately that won’t happen. As time go on they will get older or sick with something and need you more than ever.
Start facing that situation right now and not when it's to late. As you get older, you start realizing they are getting older and they are coming to a place in their life that more and more each day they will need you.
Once you realize this, this is the time to start preparing your life to take care of your parents for as long as you possible can. That’s the one thing all of us want to do is to provide for the people we love, when they can’t provide for themselves.
Taking care of your parents will make you feel good and if you have children, it will be a good for them to learn how important it is for family to take care of family.
I have an ex brother that turned his back on my parents and has NOT done anything to help....but yet has had NO problem causing identity theft on my parents. Be wise and keep an eye on this when your parents become older.
As always, I would love to hear from all of you...What Do You Want To Schmooze About?
Please contact me at mmorris358@aol.com
Can We Schmooze? SCHMOOZING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL!!!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Make Sure You Take Good Care of Yourself When YOU are the CareGiver
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF
The more you take care of you, the better you can care for someone else
Studies show that caregivers often neglect themselves, with dire consequences for their health and well-being. Don't become a statistic. Keep you doctors' appointments, find some daily "me" time, get enough sleep and exercise—and when you can, add a little fun and luxury to your days.
Here are some easy ways...
Take a Hike
Go for a quiet walk; observe nature; listen to birds, crickets and the wind. Pause to put your face to the sky and think about nothing at all. Return refreshed.
Warm Up
Toss a terry bathrobe or bathsheet in the clothes dryer before you slip into a hot bubble bath. Roll it up so it's still toasty when you emerge. Once you wrap yourself in it, you'll feel like you've just escaped to a spa!
Tap Touch
Flop on the floor and cuddle your kids or your pet. Stroking your dog's tummy can calm you, and a few minutes of unabashedly loving your child—with no agenda—will put life into perspective fast.
Slice and Sniff
Cut up a fresh orange and eat the slices slowly, enjoying nature's gift to the olfactory nerves. Or, squeeze a whole lemon for tension relief and keep the oil on your palms. With just a wave of your hand, you'll enjoy instant aromatherapy.
Be a Cut-Up
Sing out loud, really loud! Pop some bubble-gum bubbles. Or dance and be silly when no one is looking. Cracking yourself up can go a long way toward keeping you sane. Really!
Take a Real Break
Chat with a friend on the phone or over lunch. Your rules—talk about anything (movies, books, the kids, the neighbors) except your current caregiving situation.
I have always felt that if I did anything but care for my parents I wasn't being a good daughter. At the end of each day, I was worn out...exhausted, and felt like I couldn't go on.
Please make sure that you as the caregiver do not let the guilt weigh you down, been there, done that.
As always, Can We Schmooze? Any topic..any time...
Please email me at mmorris358@aol.com
The more you take care of you, the better you can care for someone else
Studies show that caregivers often neglect themselves, with dire consequences for their health and well-being. Don't become a statistic. Keep you doctors' appointments, find some daily "me" time, get enough sleep and exercise—and when you can, add a little fun and luxury to your days.
Here are some easy ways...
Take a Hike
Go for a quiet walk; observe nature; listen to birds, crickets and the wind. Pause to put your face to the sky and think about nothing at all. Return refreshed.
Warm Up
Toss a terry bathrobe or bathsheet in the clothes dryer before you slip into a hot bubble bath. Roll it up so it's still toasty when you emerge. Once you wrap yourself in it, you'll feel like you've just escaped to a spa!
Tap Touch
Flop on the floor and cuddle your kids or your pet. Stroking your dog's tummy can calm you, and a few minutes of unabashedly loving your child—with no agenda—will put life into perspective fast.
Slice and Sniff
Cut up a fresh orange and eat the slices slowly, enjoying nature's gift to the olfactory nerves. Or, squeeze a whole lemon for tension relief and keep the oil on your palms. With just a wave of your hand, you'll enjoy instant aromatherapy.
Be a Cut-Up
Sing out loud, really loud! Pop some bubble-gum bubbles. Or dance and be silly when no one is looking. Cracking yourself up can go a long way toward keeping you sane. Really!
Take a Real Break
Chat with a friend on the phone or over lunch. Your rules—talk about anything (movies, books, the kids, the neighbors) except your current caregiving situation.
I have always felt that if I did anything but care for my parents I wasn't being a good daughter. At the end of each day, I was worn out...exhausted, and felt like I couldn't go on.
Please make sure that you as the caregiver do not let the guilt weigh you down, been there, done that.
As always, Can We Schmooze? Any topic..any time...
Please email me at mmorris358@aol.com
Sunday, June 27, 2010
How To Help Elderly Parents
During a family conference, decide who will be the primary caregiver, and what role each member of the family will play in helping care for the aging parent. Everyone in the family, including teenage relatives and younger children, can help care for Grandma or Grandpa by making regular visits, calling on the telephone to chit chat, assisting with household chores, preparing nourishing meals, running errands, shopping for groceries, doing the laundry, supervising medications, trips to the doctor and so on.
Relatives that live further away can also contribute to the care of the aging parent by making regular phone calls, sending cards and letters, attaching recent photos or sending scrapbook collections of fun and happy times for the parent to enjoy. They can also make weekend trips to visit as often as possible. Dealing with elderly parents, and the numerous problems that often arise, should not be left entirely to the primary caregiver simply because they are living closer to the parent.
I have a lot on my plate with my parents. It is so very hard with all the care falling on my shoulders. Family that lives out of state doesn't really understand how worn out one person can become when it's two aging parents at once.
As always, I would love to hear from all of you...What Do You Want To Schmooze About?
Please contact me at mmorris358@aol.com
Relatives that live further away can also contribute to the care of the aging parent by making regular phone calls, sending cards and letters, attaching recent photos or sending scrapbook collections of fun and happy times for the parent to enjoy. They can also make weekend trips to visit as often as possible. Dealing with elderly parents, and the numerous problems that often arise, should not be left entirely to the primary caregiver simply because they are living closer to the parent.
I have a lot on my plate with my parents. It is so very hard with all the care falling on my shoulders. Family that lives out of state doesn't really understand how worn out one person can become when it's two aging parents at once.
As always, I would love to hear from all of you...What Do You Want To Schmooze About?
Please contact me at mmorris358@aol.com
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Are You A Child of an Aging Parent?
Each and every day I am learning more about our aging parents. Everyone of us will one day be dealing with this topic. Some sooner ...as I have.
No one preps us for this and it is hard. I have done a lot of crying these past two years and sometimes I wonder and say I do NOT like the way the entire system is set up from birth to death. I know I don't have any control, nor can I change the way life is set up. What I can change is the way a child will care for an aging parent. If I can get the word out and prepare us children, and the future children, I will have achieved many areas to make life easier.
Planning Ahead
Have you ever said or heard others say, "I don't ever want to be a burden to my children"? It's a common thought, but what have you done to insure that you won't be? If your parents shares these sentiments, now is the time to initiate dialogue with them before it's too late. The inevitable future includes aging for all of us.
Many of us older kids over 20, seniors included, will be called upon as caregivers of our loved ones. The first "baby boomers," the group born after World War II ended, are just entering their 60s. It is likely that this group of Americans may spend more years caring for elderly parents than they spend raising children. They truly exemplify the sandwich generation.
Caregiving can be complicated. Finding resources and making decisions is not an easy task. The entire family should be addressing caregiving issues. If elderly parents are capable, by all means, involve them in an open discussion of issues directly related to their future. If they seem reluctant at first, persist. It's far better to "air" their fears and yours now, while they are still capable. Be sure to involve all siblings in the discussion even the "long distance" children. If they can't be there, keep them well informed, preferably in writing. Informal letters serve well.
General Issues
Who will be the principal caregiver?
What involvement will siblings have?
Which responsibilities can be shared? By whom?
(Supervising medications, shopping, doctors, day care, etc.)
Is communication open and honest between caregiver and elderly person?
Do family members share feelings and information?
Financial and Legal
What is the person's financial situation?
Is there a list of assets, their value, their locations?
Is there a private pension? Is it mailed directly to a bank? Which one?
What is the social security amount? Is it directly deposited? Where?
Are there other sources of income? Annuities, stocks, interest, IRA's, CD's, safe deposit box?
What are the debts? Mortgages, car payment?
Is there a need to apply for SSI, Supplementary Security Income?
Is medical coverage adequate?
Is there a prescription plan? Long term care insurance? Medicare? Medicaid?
Has anyone consulted an eldercare attorney?
Has the elderly person transferred any assets?
What is the "time frame" in your state for transferring assets before being qualified for Medicaid?
Is there a will, a living will, a power of attorney, a durable power of attorney that lasts beyond incapacitation? Where are they kept?
Is there an insurance policy? Where is it kept?
Housing
What housing options are possible? Can the elderly person live alone?
What about an assisted living facility?
Is a nursing facility or a personal care facility needed?
Is senior housing or shared housing an option?
Is a life care community feasible?
Has the person or family any "up-front money" available for some period of personal pay in a nursing home?
Physical Condition
Has the person had a recent physical? Is there a family doctor? Has a geriatric assessment been ordered?
What medications are being taken? By prescription? Over the counter?
Ask the pharmacist or doctor if any medications interactions should be avoided. Ask if any meds should not be taken together. Any foods avoided?
After Death
Are there any pre-paid funeral expenses? Any specific funeral wishes?
What funeral home? A viewing? A family plot?
Cremation? Any specific desires?
Can you discuss death with the person for whom you are caring? Why not? Most of the elderly do not fear discussion of death.
As always, I would love to hear from all of you...What Do You Want To Schmooze About?
Contact me at mmorris358@aol.com
No one preps us for this and it is hard. I have done a lot of crying these past two years and sometimes I wonder and say I do NOT like the way the entire system is set up from birth to death. I know I don't have any control, nor can I change the way life is set up. What I can change is the way a child will care for an aging parent. If I can get the word out and prepare us children, and the future children, I will have achieved many areas to make life easier.
Planning Ahead
Have you ever said or heard others say, "I don't ever want to be a burden to my children"? It's a common thought, but what have you done to insure that you won't be? If your parents shares these sentiments, now is the time to initiate dialogue with them before it's too late. The inevitable future includes aging for all of us.
Many of us older kids over 20, seniors included, will be called upon as caregivers of our loved ones. The first "baby boomers," the group born after World War II ended, are just entering their 60s. It is likely that this group of Americans may spend more years caring for elderly parents than they spend raising children. They truly exemplify the sandwich generation.
Caregiving can be complicated. Finding resources and making decisions is not an easy task. The entire family should be addressing caregiving issues. If elderly parents are capable, by all means, involve them in an open discussion of issues directly related to their future. If they seem reluctant at first, persist. It's far better to "air" their fears and yours now, while they are still capable. Be sure to involve all siblings in the discussion even the "long distance" children. If they can't be there, keep them well informed, preferably in writing. Informal letters serve well.
General Issues
Who will be the principal caregiver?
What involvement will siblings have?
Which responsibilities can be shared? By whom?
(Supervising medications, shopping, doctors, day care, etc.)
Is communication open and honest between caregiver and elderly person?
Do family members share feelings and information?
Financial and Legal
What is the person's financial situation?
Is there a list of assets, their value, their locations?
Is there a private pension? Is it mailed directly to a bank? Which one?
What is the social security amount? Is it directly deposited? Where?
Are there other sources of income? Annuities, stocks, interest, IRA's, CD's, safe deposit box?
What are the debts? Mortgages, car payment?
Is there a need to apply for SSI, Supplementary Security Income?
Is medical coverage adequate?
Is there a prescription plan? Long term care insurance? Medicare? Medicaid?
Has anyone consulted an eldercare attorney?
Has the elderly person transferred any assets?
What is the "time frame" in your state for transferring assets before being qualified for Medicaid?
Is there a will, a living will, a power of attorney, a durable power of attorney that lasts beyond incapacitation? Where are they kept?
Is there an insurance policy? Where is it kept?
Housing
What housing options are possible? Can the elderly person live alone?
What about an assisted living facility?
Is a nursing facility or a personal care facility needed?
Is senior housing or shared housing an option?
Is a life care community feasible?
Has the person or family any "up-front money" available for some period of personal pay in a nursing home?
Physical Condition
Has the person had a recent physical? Is there a family doctor? Has a geriatric assessment been ordered?
What medications are being taken? By prescription? Over the counter?
Ask the pharmacist or doctor if any medications interactions should be avoided. Ask if any meds should not be taken together. Any foods avoided?
After Death
Are there any pre-paid funeral expenses? Any specific funeral wishes?
What funeral home? A viewing? A family plot?
Cremation? Any specific desires?
Can you discuss death with the person for whom you are caring? Why not? Most of the elderly do not fear discussion of death.
As always, I would love to hear from all of you...What Do You Want To Schmooze About?
Contact me at mmorris358@aol.com
Friday, June 25, 2010
Changing Roles With Your Difficult Aging Parent
Why is this so hard to do?
The notion that we have to tell aging parents what to do, and take care of them, and be in charge of their lives is very uncomfortable for most people. Our Mom and/or Dad has always been in charge. He or she was always a difficult person to deal with when we were kids. We don’t think of ourselves as able to switch roles with them. I know...I have been living this role for almost two years.
Each and every day adds more stress to my life.
We are born into a family in which we are totally dependent. We may be blessed with kind and loving parents, or be unlucky, and have an elderly aging parent who is absent, less than loving, or worse.
Our relationships with our aging parents are shaped by the way they behave as parents, and by our responses and reactions to the way they behave toward us. Patterns of conflict can go back as far as I can remember.
As I have noticed, difficult parents don’t stop being difficult because they age. I have two parents that are only 72 and 75 and they are making themselves older than they really are.
My Dad has been addicted to pain medication for the past 40 years and for a man that is only 75, he is the poster child of looking 110 from all the over usage of pain medications.
Aging may bring out some of the worst qualities in certain people who were difficult to begin with. Such things as complaining, criticizing, resisting help, making unkind remarks, and the like can be habits. Those who have those habits may indulge in their unpleasant behavior even more as they slowly lose certain abilities they once had, and feel upset that they have to rely on anyone else.
I am reaching out to others. It can make all the difference in your ability to manage one of the toughest jobs you can have. This job doesn't pay; this job takes up a lot of time on a daily basis.
What hurts the most is when someone says to you that what do you do all day? You don't work. Excuse me but this is a FULL time job without pay and without benefits.
Perhaps the government should set aside funds for those that have to give up a full time paid job, and now take on the full time role of caregiver for TWO aging parents at the same time.
What is your opinion? Please email me at mmorris358@aol.com
The notion that we have to tell aging parents what to do, and take care of them, and be in charge of their lives is very uncomfortable for most people. Our Mom and/or Dad has always been in charge. He or she was always a difficult person to deal with when we were kids. We don’t think of ourselves as able to switch roles with them. I know...I have been living this role for almost two years.
Each and every day adds more stress to my life.
We are born into a family in which we are totally dependent. We may be blessed with kind and loving parents, or be unlucky, and have an elderly aging parent who is absent, less than loving, or worse.
Our relationships with our aging parents are shaped by the way they behave as parents, and by our responses and reactions to the way they behave toward us. Patterns of conflict can go back as far as I can remember.
As I have noticed, difficult parents don’t stop being difficult because they age. I have two parents that are only 72 and 75 and they are making themselves older than they really are.
My Dad has been addicted to pain medication for the past 40 years and for a man that is only 75, he is the poster child of looking 110 from all the over usage of pain medications.
Aging may bring out some of the worst qualities in certain people who were difficult to begin with. Such things as complaining, criticizing, resisting help, making unkind remarks, and the like can be habits. Those who have those habits may indulge in their unpleasant behavior even more as they slowly lose certain abilities they once had, and feel upset that they have to rely on anyone else.
I am reaching out to others. It can make all the difference in your ability to manage one of the toughest jobs you can have. This job doesn't pay; this job takes up a lot of time on a daily basis.
What hurts the most is when someone says to you that what do you do all day? You don't work. Excuse me but this is a FULL time job without pay and without benefits.
Perhaps the government should set aside funds for those that have to give up a full time paid job, and now take on the full time role of caregiver for TWO aging parents at the same time.
What is your opinion? Please email me at mmorris358@aol.com
Thursday, June 24, 2010
What Do You Want to Schmooze About?
What Do You Want to Schmooze About?
Suggestions ....something bothering you? ...Let's get it going!!!
Schmoozing is good for the soul!!
Please email me @ mmorris358@aol.com
Suggestions ....something bothering you? ...Let's get it going!!!
Schmoozing is good for the soul!!
Please email me @ mmorris358@aol.com
The Medical Definition of Addiction
The Medical Definition of Addiction
An addiction is any behavior that meets at least three of the seven criteria during the same 12-month period.
Tolerance. Has your use of drugs or alcohol increased over time?
Withdrawal. When you stop using, do you experience at least one of the following symptoms: irritability, anxiety, shakes, sweats, nausea, or vomiting?
Difficulty controlling your use. Do you sometimes use more or for a longer time than you'd like? Do you drink to get drunk?
Negative consequences. Have you continued to use even though there have been negative consequences to your mood, self-esteem, health, job, or family?
Significant time or emotional energy spent. Do you spend a significant amount of time or thought obtaining, using, concealing, planning, or recovering from your use?
Put off or neglected activities. Have you given up or reduced social, recreational, work, or household activities because of your use?
Desire to cut down. Have you repeatedly thought about cutting down or controlling your use, or have you made unsuccessful attempts to cut down or control your use?
An addiction is any behavior that meets at least three of the seven criteria during the same 12-month period.
Tolerance. Has your use of drugs or alcohol increased over time?
Withdrawal. When you stop using, do you experience at least one of the following symptoms: irritability, anxiety, shakes, sweats, nausea, or vomiting?
Difficulty controlling your use. Do you sometimes use more or for a longer time than you'd like? Do you drink to get drunk?
Negative consequences. Have you continued to use even though there have been negative consequences to your mood, self-esteem, health, job, or family?
Significant time or emotional energy spent. Do you spend a significant amount of time or thought obtaining, using, concealing, planning, or recovering from your use?
Put off or neglected activities. Have you given up or reduced social, recreational, work, or household activities because of your use?
Desire to cut down. Have you repeatedly thought about cutting down or controlling your use, or have you made unsuccessful attempts to cut down or control your use?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Definition of the word ADDICT
The definition of the word ADDICT.
ADDICT: someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance; abrupt deprivation of the substance produces withdrawal symptoms.
How many of you either know someone or are that someone that fit’s the definition listed above? Many people that would be considered an addict, don’t think they are an addict, unless you are like me, growing up in an addict home.
We are put here on this earth for a purpose. I always thought the purpose of life was to make the world a better place. Was I wrong or what?
ADDICT: someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance; abrupt deprivation of the substance produces withdrawal symptoms.
How many of you either know someone or are that someone that fit’s the definition listed above? Many people that would be considered an addict, don’t think they are an addict, unless you are like me, growing up in an addict home.
We are put here on this earth for a purpose. I always thought the purpose of life was to make the world a better place. Was I wrong or what?
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