Never Outsmart a Bitch

                              Never Outsmart a Bitch

I've found the key to happiness.  Stay the hell away from assholes.

Think about what the word BITCH spells:

Brave 
Intelligent
Tenacious
Creative 

Being a bitch is a powerful thing. No one wants to mess with a bitch. Unfortunately, bitches get a bad rep because other people are threatened by their forthright, aggressive personalities.  There are a lot of positive reasons to be a bitch. 

Am I a bitch?  You bet I am and proud of it!!   People ASS U ME that the word bitch is negative.  Since it's undesirable to be considered a bitch, those of us who wear the label proudly are the strongest of the bunch.

 We're confident and vibrant and strong. We're not afraid to speak our minds and, therefore, we get sh*t done. We don't have time for weak, indecisive people who drag their feet in the mud. 

*A bitch is a bad ass boss. It's good for our health to embrace our bitch status because we revel in our strength, we take care of ourself, and we never waste our time on stupid stuff that doesn't matter.

* You don't hold court with toxic people.  I don't waste my time in the company of terrible people who make me feel like sh*t. I recognize toxic people for what they are, a drain on myself-esteem and resources. I won't allow myself to be influenced by individuals who bring no value to my life. I simply do not have the time and have no problem cutting people off if they can't hang.

*Science says swearing is good for you. If there is one thing a bitch likes to do, it's f*cking swear. It's therapeutic. Research has shown people who curse are less stressed, confident and just plain hotter than other people. Not to mention every bitch knows the most important thing in any given situation is to get her point across. With the help of my swear-word-peppered speech, my message will come across loud and clear.  F*ck YEAH!!

* Your friends are the realest people ever.  I have a few close friends in my inner circle.  Everyone else are acquaintances.   There are few people who can handle my real, pointed and sometimes harsh opinions. Only the strongest of the strong can f*ck with me.

*You never bottle up your emotions. Letting your emotions be known is a total stress reliever. Those who bottle up their emotions are doing serious harm to their health. It knocks years off your life and even increases your chances of getting cancer by 70 percent! As a bitch, I always speak my mind and am never one to be timid about my feelings. I am empowered rather than stricken with fear of societal judgment.

*Your bitchiness leads to self-criticism.  I am are my biggest critic. My opinion is the only one that matters to me, so it should be no surprise that I spend a lot of time on self-reflection. I workout from home and take good care of my health. 

*You enrich your mind. My vocabulary is chock-full of wild idioms. Since I spend a lot of time insulting people, my words have to be my most powerful weapon. There's a big difference between a bitch and a smart bitch. I have a perfectly groomed collection of vicious words that can bring any adversary to her/his knees. 

*You're always the authority on everything. My friends look to me for everything because I always have an opinion. I don't sugar coat and will give the hard truth when it's needed. I am decisive AF and know exactly what you do and do not like. I am direct and, therefore, never get hung up on decision-making.

*Assertiveness is a healthy trait. Being assertive means my communication skills are on fleek. Assertiveness is directly related to stress relief. A bitch is never one to sit idly by. I am a person who gets sh*t done. I don't do passive aggression; I work out my conflicts swiftly and effectively as soon as they occur.  

*You won't age. Bitchy resting face (BRF) means no wrinkles. Since my face is in a constant state of c*nty relaxation, my skin will never experience the wear and tear of time. While people may fault me for constantly staring them down, I know I am both expressing myself and cheating the aging process, so joke's on them.

If people want to call me a bitch for having standards, passion, and expectations, being honest, standing up for what I believe in, and having no problem saying what I think, then I will own it on my terms. 

Hopefully, it will inspire others to get in touch with their own inner bitches and make the world a bitchier place!  

                    I AM A BITCH!!!

***It's been years since I have written.  I am inspired by a very dear friend who is now my family. He lives in Spain. Although we have never met, in my mind it feels like we have known each other for an eternity.   When you surround yourself with people who belong in your life, life gets better and takes you places where you belong. I am going to write about this inspirational person in my life.  For now I will refer to him as Yoda.  You will learn all about his talents and more.   Yoda, thank you for believing in me!!**